How To Support Friends Through Their Wedding Postponement
FRIENDS ARE LIKE BRAS - CLOSE TO YOUR HEART AND THERE FOR SUPPORT
Coronavirus is wreaking havoc on all areas of our lives, affecting each of us individually. Couples all over the country are being faced with the reality of having to postpone their wedding day, after months or quite possibly years of planning and saving. If you are a friend, relative or family member of a couple forced to make the decision to postpone, it is important to support them in the right ways and shower them with love to help avoid the blues, as they will no doubt be devastated.
With a trip to the supermarket seeming like a military operation and the general fear of how Coronavirus will affect your life in the future, it can be all too easy to be dismissive when someone tells you they have been forced to postpone their wedding day due to Covid-19. It may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things right now, there are bigger things to worry about than someone’s wedding being moved back a year! However, some people pour all of their time and money into planning their wedding and to them it will be so much more than just a knees-up, a chance to eat great food and a boogie at the end of the night, and then there’s the fear of the unknown - What restrictions will still be in place if they rearrange, who might not be able to come, are their dream suppliers still available? The list is endless and my heart goes out to every couple in this position right now!
With this is mind, it is so important to find a way you can be there for your friends or family during this unusual time. I’ve compiled a list of things you should and shouldn’t say, as shared by some of my couples who have found themselves in this position and also some nice gestures that are sure to cheer them up.
know what to say, and what not to say
The most important thing is supporting your friends, in a way that is best for them. That usually means keeping your excitement for their plans and trying not to minimise their feelings. Allow them to vent and be upset or maybe they are fine and don’t want a fuss to be made; follow their lead. Here’s some advice from some of my couples that find themselves in this position:
DO make it clear you will still make it to the wedding - “Most people send a message saying they are sorry about the postponement, but I would much prefer them to accept the decisions we’ve had to make and reassure us they will still be able to make it or at least try to! My favourite reply is simply - We’ll be there no matter when and where.”
DON’T ask for constant updates, it’s understandable you will want to rearrange your plans too but give them some time - “One of the toughest things has been people asking us for details all the time when we don’t even know ourselves yet! It’s also hard when people are suggesting new dates to us when we haven’t even had options confirmed by our registrar!”
DO let them know you are thinking of them - “We’ve had some incredibly thoughtful gifts, not only from our wedding planner but also from friends, sending lovely cards on what would have been our special day.”
DON’T point out that it’s no big deal! It may not be to you but to the Bride who’s wedding plans have changed due to a worldwide pandemic, it is a very big deal!
Acknowledge the original date
There are so many ideas floating around the internet at the moment on how couples can celebrate their original date, but how can you mark the occasion? Sending a beautiful card, getting cake delivered (everybody loves cake) or perhaps sharing a drink or a dance via Zoom. For the Grooms out there, consider a bottle of their favourite whiskey or spirit engraved with the original wedding date. Make a fuss of your friends and make sure they know you would rather be by their side dancing the night away!
Send surprise mail
There’s no better feeling that receiving post that does not resemble a bill, a handwritten card means 100 times more than a text and shows you sat down and took the time to think about them and write something out. Companies are adapting to the situation and there are so many fun and exciting things you can get delivered to your friends to let them know you care - Here’s some of my favourites ideas:
► A takeaway voucher for a restaurant, local to them that is offering deliveries
► A food hamper or grazing platter date night box - If you are local to Devon and Cornwall I can highly recommend Mylk & Honey or The Cornish Grazing Co.
► Flowers are always a winner and I love a good Bloom & Wild delivery
Mylk & Honey as photographed by The Unbridled
offer practical help
Rather than an “I’m here if you need me”, maybe offer something a little more helpful with a bit more thought behind it. You could research accommodation options for the new date, or perhaps you could help with emailing or calling suppliers to check new date availability? Regardless of how involved your friends would like you to be, a simple “What can I do to help?” might go further than you think.
The best thing you can do as a friend is to try and understand, listen to what they have to say and help wherever and whenever you can - They need their people!
If you are a couple navigating this difficult time please feel free to reach out for any kind of guidance, my inbox is always open.
